Uncertainty, Trauma and Pre- and Perinatal Experiences

Whatever your beliefs or attitudes, it is hard to deny that we are living in uncertain times. Life is always uncertain, but these days we are faced with how to live within a worldwide pandemic, which some say is over or never existed but continues to profoundly affect our lives and often our health. On top of that, it is likely that you are also facing effects of climate change, like extreme heat, fires, flooding or drought. You also may be concerned about political events in your country, terrorist attacks, racism and misogynist ravings, with additional stresses to your health and nervous system.

How do you cope with the not knowing, the imminent threats presenting daily in the news, as well as in daily conversations?

When communal stresses like those I’ve mentioned surround us, we tend to have less sense of trust, safety and support in our communities. This may be even more challenging if you think you have avoided or managed to recover from COVID and then the temperature rises beyond what is familiar or tolerable, or some other unusual event arises that you weren’t prepared for.

Personally, I know too many people now, including close family members, who are recovering from COVID. They often feel weak, vulnerable, and scared. They may have thought they were safe and then they got it. In any case, with their immune system working hard, and often being physically weak, they tend to feel less able to meet more new challenges.

Trauma, Stress and Resilience

We all have different responses to the stresses in our lives. Some become angry at those they see as responsible for their suffering. Some withdraw into hopelessness, depression or anxiety. Some embrace the situation with creativity and resilience, perhaps finding new ways to stay in communication with those they love or to support those in need.

What enables some to respond creatively while others cycle in their activated emotional storms?

We know that people exposed to highly stressful events, like war for example, are more likely to be traumatized and develop post-traumatic stress disorders (PTSD) when they have experienced previous unresolved trauma. We also know that post-traumatic growth is possible, where people develop or mature in response to trauma.

Prenatal and Perinatal Influences

In my years (about a quarter century!) of study and practice of pre- and perinatal psychology and therapy, I have learned about how our earliest experiences, even at conception and in the womb, can profoundly affect how we meet life conditions throughout our lives. I have also been blessed to learn firsthand, both through my own healing and that of my client’s and students, about how awareness of the potential effects of this formative time in our lives can ignite change and healing.

Babies who have felt welcomed and consistently treated with respect, kindness and compassion tend to move through their lives with greater ease and resilience. Their social engagement (ventral Vagus) nervous system has been supported to be online and helps them to learn how to self-regulate, stay present and heart-centered into adulthood.

Babies exposed to violence, fear, ongoing or extreme maternal stress, rejection, and/or communal or ancestral stresses like racism tend to come into life expecting more of these stresses. Their nervous system is geared for stress and threat, with altered stress hormone levels that affect health and well-being in many ways. Studies on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and more recently Adverse Babyhood Experiences (ABEs) demonstrate these effects.

Healing is Possible

Do you resonate with any of these ideas? What do you know about your early life before and around the time of birth? I invite you to consider how these earliest experiences may be affecting how you are meeting the current conditions in your life.

If you feel so moved, I also invite you to remember your current age, consider the many skills and supports you have in your life now, or at least one thing you can feel grateful for or appreciate. Notice what you experience inside you, in your body, in your emotions, as you consider this.

From this place, it is possible to sense into how it might have been for you as a little one. Can you get a sense of you as a little one? As the adult that you now are, is there something you would like to offer that little you? How is it for you to offer it? How does your little you respond?

I like to hold my little me in my heart, where she can peek out at the world if she wants to, or she can play or go to sleep. I let her know when I am working that I am taking care of things and it is not her job. She is too little. I do my best to listen to her, sense what she needs, and give her the love and reassurance she craves.

What might you offer little you? Does anything change for you if you do this?

If you are curious about your early life and its effects, or that of your children, partner, clients, colleagues, etc. and would like to learn more, I refer you to my new book, Spirit into Form: Exploring Embryological Potential and Prenatal Psychology. I also have a 12-module course starting September where we will go through the book together. In Spirit into Form: Being with the Book, you will have my guidance and support as we explore these early influences together.

If you find this material challenging, I also highly recommend working with a therapist skilled in pre- and perinatal therapy.

Be Kind to Yourself…

Whatever you decide to do and however you are engaging with the world around you these days, I encourage you to be kind to yourself. The suffering in the world, and in you, is not your fault. You may have concluded as a very little one that you were responsible, but I can assure you that you were not. You simply didn’t have your needs adequately met by those around you, who were also acting out of their own past traumas or ongoing stresses.

I wish you ease in your healing journey. May we all be happy. May we all be peaceful. May we all know our inherent health and wisdom.