We have all been little. We began our lives that way. Little. Dependent. Vulnerable. Intelligent. Sentient. Vast beings entering into little bodies.
Over time our bodies grow. We not only become larger but also more complex, more independent individuals. In the process, the little one that we were is often forgotten. Whatever wounding we experienced back then becomes woven into our identities, personalities, relational tendencies, life habits and patterns. The little one remains within us, often suffering with still unmet needs remaining unseen, unheard, unacknowledged.
What might happen if we began to invite the inner little one out of shadows of unconsciousness and offer them the love, acceptance, welcome and safety they have always needed?
When we begin to attend to the little one within, we often become less needy as adults. We no longer have to express and try to access what we missed back then when we were little.
Differentiating
Once I differentiate between then and now, little one and grown up, I can begin to live as a grown up and acknowledge all the strengths and resources I now have that I didn’t back then. From that place, I can begin to give to the inner little one what was needed back then.
Please take a moment while reading this to notice how this feels in your body. How is your breath in this moment? How does your heart feel? Can you feel what you are sitting on? Can you find and feel your feet? Can you acknowledge that even this ability to read is something you couldn’t have done back then?
Gently Re-Visiting What Was
If you find yourself having difficult feelings as you read this, chances are this information is relevant for you. Most of us learn to shut ourselves off from painful feelings in order to survive when we are too little to escape or protect ourselves from the hurtful behaviour of those around us. Now, there is the possibility of coming back to those feelings. While they may not feel good, the value in reclaiming them includes recovering the energy we use protecting ourselves from them, as well as gaining access to an entire range of feelings like love, passion and enthusiasm. Allowing ourselves to gently re-visit old emotions can open a portal to an enhanced sense of aliveness and health.
The key word here is “gently.” It’s not helpful to try to uncover every old emotion at once. Too much at once potentially overwhelms us. We had to shut down because what was happening was overwhelming back then. We don’t need to repeat that overwhelm we experienced when we were little.
More helpful is remembering in present time what supports you. What do you appreciate? What can you feel grateful for? What or who do you have in our life that helps you to know and be ok with whatever arises? What speaks to you of health and wellness?
Can you sense any changes in your body, your breath, your sensations as you orient to support, resource and health? You may find your tissues softening, your breath slowing down and becoming deeper, your sense of the support of the ground under you becoming stronger and easier to access.
Offering the Inner Little One What You Missed
When you feel more settled, how is it to consider who and how you were as a little one? Do you have any sense of little you? What is he or she like? Where are they? Does little you feel alone or supported? As you get to know your little one, is there anything you would like to offer them? What happens for you and for little one as you explore this. What happens if you offer what it is you want to offer? Can the little one receive this?
Often in this kind of work, the little one needs time to learn to trust the grown-up version of you. This requires frequent, consistent attention. Can you commit yourself to caring for this little one within you? How does that feel in your body? Your breath? Your heart?
I encourage you to re-visit this process often, if you find it helpful or interesting. You may want to take this to your therapist to enable deepening the experience further.
As a slightly different approach, I also have a webinar called Nurturing Your Inner Little One with Continuum coming up November 17th, 2019. Please click here to learn more and register. If you are reading this after the event, you can also access the video recording at the same link.
Thank you for taking this time to read this blog and to give to yourself. I’d love to know how this work affects you. Please leave a comment and you’ll also be able to read those of others who are touched by meeting their own little one.
